I love walking along the pathways on a starry night, knowing that billions of stars are watching over me with every single step I take. I adores strolling in the rain, though getting wet is not my aim. Haha. I guess sometimes I just need a little special time to myself, and it sure is a great reward. :)

Went back to my Secondary School yesterday and there were changes among the teachers, students and the choice of colours for the building. Haha. Some of the teachers have left but majority of those who taught me are still there! Wee! I did not get to talk to all of them because I was too shy. They were having their department photos taken and having to face all the teachers in the school at once is intimidating. I managed to talk to my chinese teacher and my form teacher! Both of them commented on my appearance, one on my looks and the other on my hair colour. Nevertheless, I am just so happy that they still recognise me and remember my name!! Well, 2 years have passed and counting.. :D

A lot of changes took place, but the most significant one will be the people-people relations among my friends. 2 years is a long time and is more than sufficient for life changing events to occur. Some are sweet, some refreshing, while some are heart-aching. Sometimes I really hope that a hug will make up to the hurts they have gone through but it does not always turn out this way. I know. Here's a little message specially for you:

I believe in YOU! One day, you will walk out of this valley and see the light of a new beginning. ++>hugs and kisses<++

Putting aside all the "touchy-feely" stuff, here's a BIG BIG GREAT news!! I am blessed with a ticket to watch the Forbidden City!! This is really a dream come through. Haha! I am grateful, really. :)

Reorganised my laptop and doing all my plannings. Haha. One truth I learnt: the devil works with half truths. He won't trick you with things that are outrightly wrong because we will notice it right away. Half truths are facts mixed with lies. For example, in the Garden of Eden, when he told Eve that she will surely not die from consuming the fruit. He was not totally wrong because she did not die physically but spiritually. He coats lies with a speck of truth, no wonder he is called the deceiver. This is why I want to be serious about planning, I really want to be more specific in handling my time and finances.

Vague expectation is no expectation at all

HERE I COME ^-^

++>Singing<++

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

++>Claps<++

Happy birthday Von! Happy 1 day belated birthday Cindy! Haha. Joy is in the air~

I have been tired recently with dry eyes and darkened eye bags. My usage of concealer have increased tremendously! Wahaha. Well, sleeping at 4 a.m. daily disrupted my biological clock I guess. Haha. I really have to put order back into my life again!!

God has been really good to me! He did not give me an easy time with all the crying and struggles, but He is faithful! I am really thankful for the people around me!!

Elaine: Thanks for everything, I know it hasn't been easy on you. :) I love you, Ms. Elaine!

Martin: Yes, I will build it up once more with you okie? Haha.

Irvin: Thanks for your fashion tips!! Haha!

Jess: Haven't been able to thank you for that delicious BBQ!! Haha! Are you having another one? I want to go!

Richard: YOU! Haha. Thanks for the trouble, evenmore so since you are having your prelims. Merci beaucoup! Next time, I'll give you a treat of my very own chocolate bars!!!! Haha!

Ling: Hang on! I have something for you! Haha. Lets go for a drink this week! *hints* :P

So many nice people You have given to me! I feel so pampered.. Really. :) Apart from this list, there are still many I want to thank!! I shall thank you guys personally!! Weee~

+>I'm moving on, pray you'll move on too<++

Sunlight finds its way through the crevices of the tunnel and hope was restored to my buried vision. I brushed the sand dust off the surface of the box where it held my dreams and tugged at the lock which holds the key to restoring my vision. It needed a code to unlock and You whispered, "Love." The lock came off and I saw my dreams come alive and joy overflows! Then You whispered, "Humility."

I started to weep and I went on my knees.. "Sorry," was all I could say in my pain. You walked towards me and gave me a comforting hug to assure me of Your presence. Everything was beyond words..

I am back to the beginning. Merci beaucoup for letting me walk with You again!

JE T'AIME

copyrighted by pearly :)

Haha. I'm back!! Sorry, I just read all the tags so here's my replies.


Jess:
HAPPY for you gal! You still owe me a bowl of soup!! Haha.


Ger:
Hahaha! 3 cheers for your "never-give-up" spirit!


Liane:
Happy National Day!!! Here's your update. Haha.


Ada:
Yeah! The chocolate I ate is flushed down the sewage a long time ago!! Haha!


**End of entry ** >.<

I am fighting a battle not of my own. It is always when I'm that close to a breakthrough that the walls came crashing down. I'm picking up myself again and this time I'm not turning back.

"Come and hold my hands

Take me into Your warm embrace

No one else matters besides You

Through the valley I trust in You"

I know I am not perfect and I do have my weaknesses, yet YOU still love me. I need YOU.

I'm tagged. *laughs*

7 Random things about myself:

1. I am stubborn

2. I am starting to do budgeting and planning

3. Playing my guitar

4. They say I'm nice. Ha-ha

5. Training myself in the area of teaching

6. I'm grateful for HIM

7. "Ah!!" I'm screaming.

7 Things that scare me:

1. Cockroaches

2. Catepillars

3. Hyper doggies

4. Tiredness

5. Away from HIS presence

6. 24 hrs of idling

7. My handphone goes out of Battery

7 Random songs at the moment:

1. A Pure Heart - unsure

2. Hei Bai Pei - Fan Wei Qi

3. "Audictive" - Jacky, Min Kuan, Febrina

4. Ni De Jian Bang - Sun

5. Valley - Random

6. Heaven - Elaine

7. My Healer - CHC

7 Things I like the most:

1. HIM

2. Chocolates

3. Laughing

4. Children

5. Drawing

6. Walking in the rain

7. Play on the swing! (hardly can find swings in playgrounds nowadays)

7 Things I say the most:

1. Hahahahaha

2. LOL

3. "Children, today..."

4. Yes

5. Dope

6. *smile* without words

7. "Can de, you can do it."

7 people to do this:

Can I not choose? Ha-ha. :)

It's been a cool day, and met several cool people. Went through a short but cool lesson. Chatting with cool people. But something's missing.

"Treasure before it's lost, change before it's gone."

Many plans in hand:

1. Arrange and fix all my bible studies

2. Watch Pirates of the Carribean (out in 13 July)

3. Buy gift for Eric, meet him for a meal

4. Trip to Night Safari

5. Cut my hair at Kallang

6. Find a job

7. Meet up with Sharon for our lunch-date

8. Bake cookies

9. Meet up Jess for our Prata outing

10. Go swimming and tanning

11. Get back my pay

12. Organise my finances

13. Buy gift for a 21 year-old Biggie Man

14. Chill at Settlers Cafe

15. Summer Survival Camp

**Ha-ha. And my 5 treats!** I'm blessed!

Fought a fierce battle yesterday, one that I would never have expected. I am tired but my prayer stays strong. "Soften my heart, let me be pure for You." I made a choice to give up something I really want for something YOU brought me to. I cried and my heart tore at the price to pay. As I look at my life, my smile appeared in the midst of all the crying because I see Your goodness and I know You are real.

Finished my first assessment at my Centre and can you believe this? I got full marks for each component! Except one because I didn't take note of my child's behaviour while getting aprons for them, but I got 3 out of 4 for that component. Hooray! I am amazed and I think my Mentor was surprised at my performance. Ha-ha. I got back my assignment of a 1500 words essay on my Vision for Mathematics for Young Children. I got a B! That means I scored between 70-74 out of 100! Ha-ha. This is really a testimony because I was sick then and I completed the whole assignment in 3 hours the day before.

Time is always so impatient, ticking away so hurriedly. Re-planned my whole schedule, now I have to pace out my timing for all my projects and research. Hmmm.. I really need wisdom in this. Ha-ha. Ada say that I look like I'm too busy to have any relationship. :) Yeah, true. I am not very busy as compared to others, but busy enough to keep a REAL organizer now. I ain't thinking of one either, doubt I can cope commiting to another person. *faints* Ha-ha.

Lastly, PUIMAN! Here, I've typed your name in my blog too! Ha-ha. I have fulfilled my promise~ lalalala

I am really thankful for everything around me. Even if the battle gets tougher, I know I will hold on. A soldier goes to battle in an Army and I'm glad to be in a 'dopeing' and unique one. Everyone, fight!

Many things I really don't understand, but I will walk on with You

Happy birthday to all! LOL

I feel so blessed! (: Thanks, thanks, thanks. I trembled in YOUR presence and cried as I remember what You told me. I see the faces of many and my heart tears with their looks of hopelessness.

Keep focus! I like what Elaine said, "September is here!" Wee~ Ha-ha.

The last thing I want to see is someone else walking a third mile because I am afraid to walk mine. Breaking boundaries, stretching my faith!

In love with YOU!

Happy birthday Wei Ting!! Haha.

This few weeks was amazing. Met many people that added colours into my life in their own special way. Seen many diferent side of people that caused me to see more of HIM in them. I love them all!! Haha. *No elaboration needed I guess*

I want to be like a bulldog. Haha. Biting on without letting go. As things get tougher, I know I will breakdown but I choose to say "But." I choose to look to YOU.

-adjusting my priorities and getting back into my closet.

My walls are tored down and my heart is so filled with love.

Many changes took place and I admit, I was overwhelmed. My security was shaken as I know things are not going to be the same anymore. As a matter of fact, every passing second indicates a change. Today, I am humbled. Being brought down to the main purpose for my existence, my thoughts are triggered.

Like a man who unfolds the blindfold over his eyes, now I see. Although I don't see everything, what I see is enough to keep me fighting. Now I can sing,

"You are faithful and true, Glorious Lord.
All my life it is You I adore."

**Baking cookies SOON* Haha.

-I'm in love and in battle!! (:
fasting, yearning to be closer to You

I just yearn to go deeper, deeper..

My heart aches and I have made my CHOICE

I should be at Expo, but the cold's freezing me. Ha-ha. To explain my pojnt, I have caught a cold. All the "Hi, can I help you?" and the aircon must have drained my last bit of strength to leave me so weak. Putting this aside, yesterday's EMERGE meeting was indescribable. The moment I stepped into the place, I just felt that the atmosphere was different. I guess it is because everybody came with a strong sense of anticipation and expectation.

I came out of the meeting with a thankful heart. My little cousin was siting behind me and hearing him sing made me cry. I am truly grateful. It is by His grace that I can stand there with him and sing our praises to Him. The feeling was awesome! Ha-ha.

Recently, projects are catching up with me. I have to conduct 8 lesson plans, 3 Art and Craft, 3 Music and Movement and 2 on Math, in the remaining 8 visits to my Centre. I have just completed a 1500 words report on my vision for young children Mathematics. Still to go, I have another 1500 word essay on Family issues based on the show Finding Nemo. Thank God for technology for the E-Journals to aid my research work or all the trips to the library will be very time-consuming with all the travelling time. Oh, and also a to-scale floor plan of a desirable Childcare centre and a A3 size design on the theme "Me, myself and I." Ha-ha. I admit that all my projects are really very interesting. But the deadlines are really tight. If I'm not wrong, I have 14 projects to be submitted after my 2 weeks of break in June. Praying for creativity and strength.

I am very thankful for all the people He had placed in my life. I have only one thing to say, I am grateful. Gratitude is what fills my heart now.

I surrender my ALL to You. Mould me, teach me, use me.

I will not run away. I don't know how, and I am scared. But I will not run away. I will pluck up all the courage I have in me now and fight it. Forgive me, I took things in my own hands again.

My thoughts are blurred and stray. I am lost, and my eyes are failing me. I saw how scary it can be today when I was pushed to face IT. I felt it so real! The battle, the struggle, the fear, the voices, it was all so real! I felt a tremble from within, a strong cry of pain urging me to run, to escape from what is placed in front of me. But I know, I can't run away. I got to face it, I got to fight it, no matter what.

I will learn to trust and believe in YOU

I am so thankful, really. For the past few days, things were rough but I learnt a lot. I've cried a lot, complained a lot and then cried even more. Haha. At the end of the day, gratitude overwhelms me more than any of those negative thoughts and feelings. Many thanks to everyone, and the most important HIM. :) Loving YOU still! Haha.

Meeting Elaine at 7.45 a.m. Ha-ha.

Signing off~
*All the best to all participating in EMERGE!*

Tiring, yet fulfilling.

Things are taking place one after another and events after events. But I dare not say I am busy, because many out there are having a tougher fight with Time than me. I am just stretched and my capacity is challenged. Sometimes, I really feel like I am going to fall anytime, flat on my face.

These times are times when I am totally insane. I will cry on my bed, yet smile as I remember the purpose of it all. Times when I will complain and complain, but gave in to it all because I know I will never outgive Him. I will yell and scream and ask, "Why," then become mum when He ask me what have I done. When darkness falls in and He will send me that flame of hope.

You broke through the walls I built and love me beyond worth. You send me people that added colours to my life, everyone of them.

I won't give up, or give in.
Tests make it proven, so Tests here I come!
Please see me through, I believe. (:

Two over months have passed and time is still ticking away. I have taken many roundabouts through wrong decision-making, and with wrong responses. How long more, just how long will I keep running in circles? It is not about the time I have wasted, or the things I have missed. What that is really lost, is the impact that could have been made, lives that could have changed. I chose to not let it all happen, I chose to back off and be indifferent of all that is happening. How long more, I asked. Silence.

I watched Eight Below today (or yesterday to be exact). It is a movie about the courage of the Antartica explorers and their sleigh dogs. I did not expect much because the description of it that I heard was not very exciting to me. But being there, and seeing it for myself, I must say that it is a real good movie to catch. It captures your emotions and brings you to another world, halfway round the other side of the globe. It is amazing!

I weeped during the show when I hear this statement, "Sometimes, we have to take a risk for the things we care about."

What is your first response when you find yourself struggling to breathe in a whirl pool of uncertainty? My response broke the silence I had at the beginning.



*A soldier enters into a battlefield with an identity no longer his own,
but that of a soldier*
Yes, I will.

Happy Chinese New Year! Haha! It's really a very blessed year for me! ;) I've just ate my reunion dinner and it was good. The service was up to standard, food was savouring and people were warm. Most importantly, I got to eat my long-lost favourite food, fa-chai! Ha, talk about a dream come true.

There's more to be thankful of! Haha. I just received news of a job! It has good pay and its demands are just to do what I am doing; and free transport too! Confession indeed has power! =)

It's a greater year ahead!