I will not run away. I don't know how, and I am scared. But I will not run away. I will pluck up all the courage I have in me now and fight it. Forgive me, I took things in my own hands again.

My thoughts are blurred and stray. I am lost, and my eyes are failing me. I saw how scary it can be today when I was pushed to face IT. I felt it so real! The battle, the struggle, the fear, the voices, it was all so real! I felt a tremble from within, a strong cry of pain urging me to run, to escape from what is placed in front of me. But I know, I can't run away. I got to face it, I got to fight it, no matter what.

I will learn to trust and believe in YOU

I am so thankful, really. For the past few days, things were rough but I learnt a lot. I've cried a lot, complained a lot and then cried even more. Haha. At the end of the day, gratitude overwhelms me more than any of those negative thoughts and feelings. Many thanks to everyone, and the most important HIM. :) Loving YOU still! Haha.

Meeting Elaine at 7.45 a.m. Ha-ha.

Signing off~
*All the best to all participating in EMERGE!*

Tiring, yet fulfilling.

Things are taking place one after another and events after events. But I dare not say I am busy, because many out there are having a tougher fight with Time than me. I am just stretched and my capacity is challenged. Sometimes, I really feel like I am going to fall anytime, flat on my face.

These times are times when I am totally insane. I will cry on my bed, yet smile as I remember the purpose of it all. Times when I will complain and complain, but gave in to it all because I know I will never outgive Him. I will yell and scream and ask, "Why," then become mum when He ask me what have I done. When darkness falls in and He will send me that flame of hope.

You broke through the walls I built and love me beyond worth. You send me people that added colours to my life, everyone of them.

I won't give up, or give in.
Tests make it proven, so Tests here I come!
Please see me through, I believe. (:

Two over months have passed and time is still ticking away. I have taken many roundabouts through wrong decision-making, and with wrong responses. How long more, just how long will I keep running in circles? It is not about the time I have wasted, or the things I have missed. What that is really lost, is the impact that could have been made, lives that could have changed. I chose to not let it all happen, I chose to back off and be indifferent of all that is happening. How long more, I asked. Silence.

I watched Eight Below today (or yesterday to be exact). It is a movie about the courage of the Antartica explorers and their sleigh dogs. I did not expect much because the description of it that I heard was not very exciting to me. But being there, and seeing it for myself, I must say that it is a real good movie to catch. It captures your emotions and brings you to another world, halfway round the other side of the globe. It is amazing!

I weeped during the show when I hear this statement, "Sometimes, we have to take a risk for the things we care about."

What is your first response when you find yourself struggling to breathe in a whirl pool of uncertainty? My response broke the silence I had at the beginning.



*A soldier enters into a battlefield with an identity no longer his own,
but that of a soldier*
Yes, I will.

Happy Chinese New Year! Haha! It's really a very blessed year for me! ;) I've just ate my reunion dinner and it was good. The service was up to standard, food was savouring and people were warm. Most importantly, I got to eat my long-lost favourite food, fa-chai! Ha, talk about a dream come true.

There's more to be thankful of! Haha. I just received news of a job! It has good pay and its demands are just to do what I am doing; and free transport too! Confession indeed has power! =)

It's a greater year ahead!

"I confess that this year is going to be the greatest year yet! Like a potter moulding his clay, let me be shaped."

L.o.v.e is such a powerful four letter word. I was once told, "Love draws you to sacrifice." Doesn't it puzzles you how and why the combination of these commonly seen alphabets can do so much? Like a huge net cast out into the open sea, it awaits to capture you with no mercy nor any room for negotiation. Its mission is so, and I am caught. I have fallen in love!

In love with You all over again. I realised that I can never escape from this net You have cast so many years ago; Your organised scheme never fails. Today, You make me see your goodness, oh, how can I run away anymore, where can I run to? How can I further refuse? I can turn my face from anyone, but You! My heart has been stolen; my tears kept safe; all of my days have been captured in the beautiful frame of Your mind. Tell me, teach me to refuse this agape love.

I am so blessed to know You and to be in Your embrace once more. Hug me every morning, pat me til I'm asleep. I love You, and I love You! Jesus, my Lord, I love You! (:

L.o.v.e draws you to sacrifice when you understand how much the other party sacrificed, just to love you.